Hey Moms- this is your time!!

I may be judged for writing this post. Or folks may disagree. And I'm totally ok with both. 

But maybe I speak to one or two of you out there that can connect and relate to my thoughts here. And if it helps two, then it's worth it. 

School is starting up in the next couple weeks for the kids.  And while many may be excited to return to school, there are some parents feeling lost, sad summer is over and confused on what happens now. Their roles have changed and they're saddened by this. The relaxed summer days have ended with flexibility to do as you wish-and reality has returned. 

For those feeling that way- this entry is for you. And while I know fathers feel much of this, I'm going to write to the moms. Because I'm one of you. And this may apply more specifically to the moms who are home more than at work- because again, I have been one of you and I get it. 

So Moms- the short version is here: You are more than a Mom. Make sure to pay attention to the woman you are and not just the children you raise. 

For those still reading - here is the longer version: 

I'm with you. I'm a mom. And 

I love my girls. Dearly!! But I've realized that while becoming a Mom is an amazing gift that didn't come exactly easily for my husband and me - and one I don't take for granted- being a Mom does not define me. Yes, like many of you I do a lot as a Mom.   I volunteer at school.   I walk to the kids to and from class. I do homework and play taxi. I lead groups and chronicle their accomplishments. I do bedtime and laundry and make lunches and find lost shoes and ensure the perfect prop or supply is ready for the big day.  I work.  My calendar is often scheduled around their calendars.  I'm a busy Mom. 

But that isn't who I am. 

I'm a person all myself. And for a long time I was that person independent of the Mom title. I wanted the title but it wasn't quite mine to hold. And so I did me. I traveled. I pursued higher education. I did my own crafts and hobbies. I dated my husband and really maximized the years of our marriage as a family of 2. I dreamed. I followed some of those dreams. I really experienced who I was as ME. I was strong and independent and knew myself. 

And then I became a mom. And someone that new title trumped the title of just being me. We had this new wonderful and amazing person in our lives who needed me. Often literally needed me. And bit by bit my dreams, goals, time and schedule slipped away. Because she was more important. And I wanted to give her the world. And then we multipled again and the to do list as parents of 2 got longer and the ability to put myself on the list nearly disappeared. 

Until I stopped allowing that to happen. 

Again- my girls are amazing. Wouldn't trade them for anything (most days 😜). But to be the best mom they deserve and the wife my husband deserves and the counselor, sister, friend, daughter, neighbor, leader etc I want to be- I HAVE TO DO ME!  When I've done me, everything is better. I'm  nicer, kinder, more patient, thoughtful and interested person when I have been me. And everyone benefits. 

So while some are sad kids are going to school and your house is quiet too long and your purpose had left. I challenge you. THIS IS YOUR TIME!!!  Your purpose hasn't left- you just need to realize other purposes too. 

Find yourself. Recreate yourself.  If you don't know who you are outside of Jimmy or Susie's mom, it's time to find you!  Do things you have neglected to do because someone else came first. And while you love them dearly- you're better for them when you're whole yourself. 

I hear it daily, "I can BUT....." (But the kids need me, the house needs cleaned, there are projects to do, etc). Moms- you're losing yourself and this is your time. 

Kiss them goodbye as they board the bus or walk into school. They're going to be great. And for you to be great, it's time to take off the Mom hat for a bit and allow yourself the chance to find YOU again. 

Your kids will benefit. Your marriage will benefit. Your life relationships and job and everything else you stack too high on your plate will benefit.  And mostly- you will be a better everything having found what truly makes you you.