Beautiful Shattered Dreams

Sometimes life is hard.  It has been a really heavy week in the office; a go through 2 boxes of tissues kind of week.  The journey of life is not always smooth.

I continue to be honored to be among those called when the journey gets too hard to handle alone. While no one comes to counseling to share that they're having a great day, the goal is also to feel better and work toward finding those better days.  Sometimes though, we have to really sit and find the purpose of those bad days in order to give birth to the better ones.

"I don't think I can get through this pain." 

"I don't think I'll ever be the same." 

"I can't believe this is the way my life is now."
"This isn't what I thought would happen when we got married."

"I wish it was the way it used to be." 

Those are just some of the soundbites from the office this week.  Raw. Painful. Truth.

And I had to look each of these people in the eye and tell them, "You're right. The you that is in this pain is not supposed to make it through this.  You're not going to be the same.  Your marriage isn't going to be what you dreamt of.  We can't go back to what it used to be."

More raw and painful truth.

But that isn't the full story. It doesn't stop there.

The pain, hardship and brokenness is going to give birth to a new person.  A person who can use this pain and experience to propel themselves into a life they haven't yet known.  A marriage can't go back to what it was before trauma.  A person is not the same after enduring life hardships. They can be even more than they were before!

Holding on to the dreams and expectations we once believed to be our truth limits us from creating and reaching for new, better and more worthy dreams.  Different doesn't mean bad.  It doesn't mean settling.  It means it's different.  And that's OK.  It may even be better, stronger, happier, more true to ourselves.

I truly believe that something wonderful always survives something terrible. It's up to us to find out what that is. This isn't easy. It takes time. It hurts. It's a grieving process.  And to do so, we have to allow ourselves to let go of shattered dreams freely. When we accept this, and only then, can we allow ourselves to move forward into the beautiful life awaiting us.